Don't ever ask your wife what's she doing

Image by djwudi via Flickr

 










No. Don't. If your wife (girlfriend, partner, spouse, significant other) is in the kitchen, just don't ask her what she is doing. Go back to reading the paper. Resist the urge to approach the stove and make suggestions. Sure, she leaves most of the food shopping and cooking to you, and you often end up washing the morning pots and pans, but when she gets inspired, leave her alone -- or else.

This morning, my wife started to prepare breakfast for herself after she dropped our son at school. I got up and approached and started asking her questions. She was combining leftover chicken thigh with other leftovers, white rice and Chinese takeout vegetables, to make a quick fried rice. That's when I should have returned to the paper. I didn't.

I suggested some soy sauce and fetched it from the fridge. I poured on a couple of ounces. "It's too salty," she said, her voice rising. That's not all she said. Then, I added some sweet rice wine to dilute the soy sauce, and that really upset her. I said, "What about a scrambled egg in there?"  She grabbed the pot and headed for the garbage can before I stopped her by saying I'll eat it. Then, I went for my power walk.

When I got back, I filled a small bowl with the fried rice and heated it in the microwave. It tasted great. Not salty, as my wife said, but my "review" fell on deaf ears. I plan to offer the rest to our son when he gets back from school. My wife wouldn't even accept half of my breakfast wrap: smoked wild salmon, saluna salad (canned red salmon and tuna), hummus, tomato, salad greens and za'atar thyme mixture rolled up in thin pita.

That'll teach me.