As a marketing ploy, Trump Tower of seafood gives me a sinking feeling

I snapped this photo of the Legal Sea Foods dining room at Garden State Plaza in Paramus during a September 2015 lunch for two that set me back $81.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

Which genius at Legal Sea Foods decided to exploit the most divisive presidential election in memory to sell more fish?

The fine-dining chain, which serves the freshest seafood at the highest prices, is urging customers to take a "Presidential Election Fishing Poll," starting on Monday and running through Nov. 6 at dozens of its restaurants from Boston to Atlanta.

"Vote with your taste buds for the Secretary of Steak or Trump Tower" of seafood, owner Roger Berkowitz urges in an email to customers, adding "I approve these dishes."

They are the "Blue Plate Special" (Blackened Tuna Steak for $31.95) and the "Red Plate Special" (a tower of Scallop Mango Ceviche, King Crab, Mussels, Shrimp, Oysters and Clams that feeds 4 to 6 people for $55.95). 

The promotion also is being held at Legal Sea Foods in two New Jersey malls (Paramus and Short Hills). 

The light-hearted treatment of the divide between GOP presidential nominee Donald J. Trump and Democratic White House hopeful Hillary Clinton is leaving a really bad taste in my mouth.

Ignoring racism

Sadly, Legal Sea Foods is making light of an ugly presidential campaign pitting wacko billionaire Donald J. Trump, who is trying to divide the country, against Hillary Clinton, who is seeking to heal our divisions.

This marketing campaign glosses over Trump's appeal to racists, his hatred of Mexicans and Muslims; and his groping of unwilling women.

"With Election Day approaching, it's time to chew on the best that either party can dish out," the moronic Legal Sea Foods promotion says.

"Legal Sea Foods is letting you vote ... with your taste buds. 

"You're allowed to cross party lines, and even reach across the table to enjoy one or both of these delectable dishes.

"We're not playing favorites. Just serving them."

Give me a break.

We hope twin-lobster deal comes around again before the year 2020

As part of a Leap Year promotion, two steamed lobsters with two house side dishes were only $29 on Monday at Legal Sea Foods in Paramus, one of the most expensive restaurants in North Jersey. 

Normally, a single lobster with two side dishes is listed on the menu for $34.95.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

On Monday night, the dining room at Legal Sea Foods in Paramus was filled with the sound of contented customer cracking open steamed lobsters and enjoying the sweet, tender meat.

The Leap Year promotion on the last day of February -- two lobsters with two house sides for $29 -- isn't scheduled to be repeated until 2020.

But our server said the restaurant, one of the most expensive in North Jersey, plans to offer it again before then. 

We hope so, recalling the shocking $81 lunch tab, including tax and tip, on our last visit to Legal Sea Foods in September.

On Monday, our total for four lobsters, four side dishes, wine and ginger ale was $91.04, including tax and an 18% tip.

Despite high menu prices, the service and the complimentary bread leave a lot to be desired.

Our waiter misunderstood our order, and another server brought us only one twin lobster special. 

Although that was easily remedied, the house-made rolls are awful, with doughy interiors that go to waste. They are served with butter, so you have to ask for extra-virgin olive oil.

A flight of red wine -- three 2-ounce glasses of pinot noir, chianti and malbec -- was $10.75.

With her lobsters, my wife chose the excellent coleslaw and delicious sauteed spinach, above. I had brown rice and sauteed spinach with mine.

Not long after we arrived for our 4:30 reservation, and was shown to a booth, the dining room filled up with customers who had read about the Leap Year lobster promotion in a local newspaper -- "an extra day, an extra lobster."

Legal Sea Foods, Paramus (201-843-8483), is part of Garden State Plaza, New Jersey's largest mall. Web site: Fresh fish in landlocked Paramus 

Why should lunch for two cost $81 at Legal Sea Foods in Paramus???

Melt-in-the-mouth raw ahi tuna is the star in Tuna Poke at Legal Seafoods in Paramus. This lunch appetizer was $14.95.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

No other North Jersey restaurant offers the incredible variety of fresh oysters, fish and other fare than you'll find at Legal Sea Foods in Paramus.

But the restaurant is expensive, even at lunch, as we found out on Friday.

This wasn't my first visit to the Boston-based fine-dining restaurant in Garden State Plaza, New Jersey's biggest mall, so the sticker shock wasn't totally unexpected.

The restaurant was almost empty when we arrived at noon. After a hostess seated us and gave us menus and wine lists, we waited and waited for a server to take our order.

And the rolls, made in house, were truly awful.

To add insult to injury, they were served with butter, not extra-virgin olive oil.

Of course, the solution is only a few miles away in Englewood, where Balthazar Bakery turns out some of the best dinner rolls on the planet, and delivers them to restaurants.

What a concept.

Our lunch

I started with three freshly shucked oysters ($2.95 each), squeezing lemon over them, and a flight of three white wines ($9.95), which were perfect together.

I followed with an appetizer of Tuna Poke ($14.95), a Hawaiian dish made with raw ahi tuna that is pronounced "Po-kay."

Legal Seafood's version is made with diced fish and avocado. I also had a side dish of Quinoa Vegetable Salad ($6.50 for a cup).

My wife ordered her two favorite seafood dishes, a cup of Lobster Bisque ($8.50) and Legal's Signature Crab Cake ($17.95), but there was only one medium-size cake with jumbo lump crab meat. 

All of the food was delicious. Still, my wife complained the bisque had too much heavy cream in it.

Our total for food was $66.70, plus tax and a $10 tip, for a total of $81.37.

That sounds like a lot for two people to have lunch.

'Brain food'

My receipt notes "fish is brain food, be smart and eat here often," but if you truly think about it, wild-caught fish aren't expensive, so where are all the profits going?

Certainly not to the men and woman who land the fish and other seafood.

Legal Seafoods calls this cup of Quinoa Vegetable Salad with Calabrian lime dressing a premium side, and charges $6.50 for it at lunch.

My wife chose Legal's Signature Crab Cake (one medium-size crab cake), which came with a salad and a side, in this case mashed potatoes ($17.95).

Freshly shucked oysters were $2.95 each.

A cup of Lobster Bisque was $8.50. My wife liked how it tasted, but complained it was made with too much cream.

A flight of white wines, two of them from France, was $9.95. Each glass held 2 ounces. They were the perfect drink with my raw oysters.

One look at the formal setting, with lots of dark wood and wall-to-wall carpeting, should tell you not to expect fish shack prices. On the way to the bathroom, I saw bottles of Veuve Clicquot (Yellow Label), an expensive French champagne, in a refrigerated case. I can't imagine how much Legal Sea Foods charges for Veuve Clicquot, which retails for $50 and up.

Details

Legal Sea Foods, 1 Garden State Plaza, near Macy's, Paramus; 1-201-843-8483. Open 7 days.

Web site: Restaurant and Oyster Bar