Beating the clock at the The Manor's Lobster Buffet

One of several plates of split steamed lobster and claws I had at The Manor.

Seafood salad, smoked salmon and raw oysters from the Lobster Buffet.

Top to bottom: Cooked shrimp, oysters and salmon pastrami.

An ice sculpture at one end of the buffet.

Seafood salad.

The fruit platter was a welcome sight among all the artery clogging desserts.

My dessert, which I just managed to finish.

Our 2-hour seating began at 6 p.m., and a hot napkin at 7:30 told us time was running out.

Have we ever spent this much on dinner for four?

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

The Manor in West Orange puts no limit on lobster, but limits the time you have to eat the crustacean and the dozens of other dishes in its Lobster Buffet.

When I called to confirm my online reservation for last Thursday, I was told we had a 2-hour seating starting at 6 p.m.

The woman I spoke to said the steamed lobsters are served whole, and there's a photo of whole lobsters on the restaurant's Web site.

O Canada!

But when I opened the double doors of a domed chafing dish, I saw only split lobsters and separate claws. I was told they were from Canada.

I ate the mostly tender tails of the split lobsters, and discarded the rest. The claw meat was the tenderest, but the claws ran out early.

Only one other dish is made with lobster, a strongly flavored, overly thick bisque -- with no lobster pieces. We didn't care for it.

Birthday bash

We indulged in this celebration of excess to mark my son's 15th birthday and Mother's Day, both belatedly.

You can view the Lobster Buffet menu on the Web site: www.themanorrestaurant.com

For carnivores, there are plenty of non-seafood items, including chicken, turkey, leg of lamb, prime rib and ham, plus 15 hot chaffing dishes, including pasta, potato and poached fish.

My son, wife and mother-in-law raved about the meat they sampled, and said they could cut it with their forks.

O lobster!

Lobster is our favorite food, but all-you-can-eat buffets are our least favorite form of dinner.

We occasionally buy live lobsters at ShopRite, but our squeamishness when cooking them usually gets the best of us.

So, we usually content ourselves with the excellent lobster ravioli and lobster bisque we can buy at Costco Wholesale, and eat lots of Black Tiger Shrimp and other seafood.

More lobster dishes?

I would have liked the Lobster Buffet more, if there were other lobster dishes, such as the wonderful squid-ink linguine with big pieces of lobster I order at Sanducci's Trattoria in River Edge. 

We paid $47.95 each for the Lobster Buffet, plus tax and a mandatory 18% gratuity. Water, coffee and tea are included, but not soft drinks, wine or beer.

Service is not what you'd call polished. The waiters and bus boys basically clear all of the dishes that would pile up from frequent visits to the buffet and  fill the water glasses.

One waiter poured me many cups of coffee.

My waiter said he has worked at The Manor for 30 years, and that the Lobster Buffet in the old days cost $24 per person.

But he said far fewer people now come for the buffet, as I could see from the many empty tables in the room. 

Eating too much

I lost count of how many platters of steamed lobster I ate. But I estimate the four of us had a total of 12 to 15 lobsters.

Around 7:30 p.m., I looked around and saw many other customers with the same stunned look on their faces that I imagine was on mine: "I can't believe I ate the whole thing."

Two hours was plenty of time to consume more food than one person should rightfully eat at one sitting.

I was so full when I awoke the next day, I skipped breakfast and lunch.

The Manor Restaurant, 111 Prospect Ave., West Orange; 973-731-2360. No jeans or sneakers allowed.

The Lobster Buffet is served Wednesdays to Fridays for $47.95 per person and on Saturdays for $55.95 per person.

I can't believe I ate the whole thing

A few days after my wife and son left for an extended stay on the beautiful island of Jamaica in mid-July, I received an e-mail from Heritage Foods USA about a special ham from the only certified natural hog farm in New York State.

In a decision that still confuses me, I ordered it, even though it would be weeks before they returned. Maybe I wanted to have comfort food on hand for the lonely days and nights ahead.

Do you know how big a 9-to-10-pound ham is? Neither did I. And when it arrived, still cold to the touch, it weighed more than 12 pounds. It sat in the fridge for a few days before I did the only thing I could: find room for it in the freezer. Finally, at the end of August, we were a family again, and the ham went into the defroster.

Then, in a miscommunication between my wife and me the Sunday before last, I put the ham into the oven at a low 250 degrees to complete the cooking. (The farm that prepared it with only salt and brown sugar told me it wasn't fully cooked and had to be brought up to an internal temperature of 170 degrees.) The middle was really cold, maybe still frozen, so I cranked up the heat and after four hours, I could slice some juicy meat for my dinner. My wife and son, it turned out, had other dinner plans.

What to do with the leftovers? For seven days ending this past Monday, I ate ham sandwiches, made with meat right from the fridge -- sliced thin. I noticed a slightly rosy hue and veins of fat that gave it a silken feel in my mouth. I made lunch sandwiches on a bagel, whole grain toast and pita. I even had one for breakfast, and I made sandwiches for my wife and son, too. We also diced this beautiful ham to put in scrambled eggs, sauteed cabbage and yellow rice. In short, we went ham crazy. Now, finally, it's all gone.

This ham looked and tasted as if it had come from a contented hog raised on the Lucki 7 family farm in Rodman, N.Y. Its Web site pledges:

"We never-ever use antibiotics, drugs, hormones, or animal proteins. Only a vegetarian diet! Our delicious pork is created using carefully selected old fashion genetics. The pigs have plenty of space to roam on green grass and sunshine. The barns are heavily bedded with straw and hay, creating a stress-free environment."